I’m a lumberjack.

So every time I’d visit my mom, she’d want to take me out clothes shopping. Our tastes in clothing are quite different, and she would inevitably not like what I picked out because she didn’t feel it was feminine enough.

So, to make her happy, I took to walking around the store and just picking out whatever the (female) mannequins were wearing. My reasoning was: if the mannequins were wearing it, it was probably fashionable because that’s what the store wanted to highlight.

We were in the dressing room once, and she noticed that I had picked out a shirt with a plaid pattern. She felt this was too masculine looking. It was a rayon blouse with no buttons and a wide “boatneck”—hardly a flannel overshirt.

Still, the shirt perplexed her:

“Are you sure you want to buy that? I think it will make you look like a lumberjack. People will mistake you for a lumberjack if you wear that thing.”

And I was like: