America Is Losing The Nooscope Race

Folks, I hate to be the one to tell you this but…the United States is losing the Nooscope Race. The Russians are beating us on the nooscopes.

We’re screwed.

The fabled nooscope made headlines last week when it was pointed out that Putin might very well be in possession of one, created by the mysterious Anton Vaino.

Mr. Vaino was recently promoted to Putin’s Chief of Staff despite a somewhat low-key resume. Among his accomplishments, however, is a 2012 article written by a one “AK Vaino”—called “The capitalisation of the future,” it describes a fantastic device called the “nooscope” which can “detect and register changes in the biosphere and in human activity.”

A device that can tap into the world consciousness itself. An invention which, in the words of Vaino’s co-author on a number of articles, rivaled that of the telescope and “scans transactions between people, things and money.”

A clue to what the nooscope might exactly be could be in the name. The term “noosphere” was coined by the philosopher and priest Pierre Teilhard de Chardin in 1922 (at least that’s one theory), taken from the Greek (“nous”=mind, sphaira=”sphere”). It described the entirety of human thought almost as its own separate entity, “floating” out in the world and able to be “tapped” for wisdom.

So a “nooscope,” then, would be a type of instrument to do just that. It would “tap” or “measure” the “temperature” of the entire human zeitgeist at any one moment in time.

And Putin might have it, and we apparently don’t.

Or do we?