Babypod Will Give Your Fetus No Escape From Your Annoying Musical Tastes

I suppose it was only a matter of time before technology would be created to allow unprecedented (yet casual) access to a woman’s developing fetus in an attempt to create the “perfect” child. It’s never too late to expose your unborn baby to Mozart and get him or her ready for the competitive pre-preschool of your dreams, and Babypod—a “vaginal speaker”—may be able to do exactly that.

While there are already several “prenatal speakers” on the market, Babypod is the first designed to be directly inserted in a pregnant woman’s vagina, ensuring that the fetus will have no escape from his or her parents’ annoying musical tastes. (a “split headphone” feature that hangs outside the mother’s body allows one to listen along).

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Seriously, isn’t your child going to be exposed to enough speakers, screens, iPads, and other intrusive tech throughout its entire life?

The Babypod site states that pumping the music directly to the fetus will stimulate the vocalization of the baby while still in the womb. Ultrasounds of fetuses seemingly “singing along” to the music would seem to lend credence to that claim. But again, I have to ask, why push a fetus to do these things—other than the belief that you are going to “shape” your child into some sort of “superior” specimen of humanhood?

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your babies after Babypod

At any rate, I’m sure there’s a market for this and that Babypod will sell gangbusters. It makes a great gift for the expectant mother paired with a blurry 3-D figurine of the ultrasound.