Gwyneth Paltrow’s Website Is Now Selling “Psychic Vampire Repellent”


While not guaranteed to “supercharge your brain” or protect you from the Apocalypse like the supplements hawked on Infowars, the “Psychic Vampire Repellent” (actual name of the product) sold on Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop may keep the more draining influences on your life at bay.

For $30 you get this “sonically tuned” “gem-infused aromatherapy” elixir that is “reported to banish bad vibes (and shield you from the people who may be causing them).” A mix of ruby, lapis lazuli, onyx, garnet, essential oils, and “reiki charged crystals,” it is advised that users of the product spray their Psychic Vampire Repellent “generously around their heads.”

And what if you yourself are a psychic vampire and use this product? Is this essentially suicide?

Similar products on Goop include sprays to maintain “nothing but good vibes” and to calm your damn kid down.

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