Some Words On The Avicii Suicide And The Latest Celebrity Conspiracy Theory

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Avicii

How does the cause of death for Swedish musician Avicii go from “possible pancreas issues from heavy drinking” to “slashed his wrists (or neck) with a broken bottle”?

These seem like…very different conclusions to me. And the second possible cause of death should have been pretty obvious to those who found him. I’m just shocked that the actual pronounced cause of death is so different than what was speculated almost a gospel.

Of course, he died in the country of Oman, so…I don’t know what the procedure is there in terms of announcing details of a death, or autopsy results, etc.

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But I thought now would be a good time to discuss one of the (relatively speaking) newest celebrity conspiracy theories: “He Was Suicided For Investigating Child Trafficking”!

In this theory, celebrities don’t really commit suicide, anymore…instead, they are actually heroically doing undercover work to suss out the grand child sex slavery conspiracy, and then  “bumped off” when they find out too much.

The first celebrity I’ve heard of connected to this theory is—

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That’s right: Chris Cornell!!!

According to this theory, Chris Cornell never committed suicide on May 18, 2017—but rather, he was murdered by child sex traffickers in retaliation for his ongoing personal investigations.

Naturally, Chester Bennington also would never have committed suicide on July 20 of last year, but rather was offed for continuing his buddy Cornell’s work in investigating the trafficking.

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And the latest subject of these rumors?

If you said “Avicii” you get the stuffed monkey!

Yes, the rumor is that Avicii was trying to break up some child-sex thing or otherwise fight trafficking in Oman and he was murdered—made to look like a suicide, same as Cornell and Bennington. Further, “clues” are supposedly to be found in the video for his song “For A Better Day,” which is about taking revenge on pedophiles.

And who is one of the biggest “pushers” of this theory?

The Crazy Days And Nights website! (though to be fair—they are all “blind items”)

And do these theories get “weaponized” as being part of a larger anti-Democrat “The Conspiracy That Can’t Be Named” mega-theory?

Yes they do!!!

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Let’s back up a bit and go over a few points:

  1. Is it possible that celebrities sometimes die of actual suicide? YES
  2. In the history of the modern world, have murders ever been made to look like suicides? SURE, ALL THE TIME
  3. Is it likely that both Cornell and Bennington didn’t commit suicide but rather were caught in a web of intrigue like super secret agents? IT STRAINS CREDULITY BECAUSE THEY WERE *BOTH* SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUES. IF YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM *THAT* LEVEL OF DEPRESSION AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE—AND/OR ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF TAKING MEDS FOR IT—IT DOES NOT PUT YOU IN THE IDEAL HEADSPACE TO BECOME A CRUSADING UNDERCOVER SECRET AGENT BUSTING CHILD TRAFFICKING RINGS.
  4. But they knew each other and their suicides were only two months apart—isn’t that a bit of a coincidence? IT WAS ENTIRELY LIKELY THAT BENNINGTON ONLY GOT *MORE* DEPRESSED AFTER PAL CORNELL’S PASSING AND CHOSE TO END IT ALL
  5. How ’bout Avicii? HE WAS SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE ISSUES TOO AS WELL AS EXTREME EXHAUSTION FROM BEING ON TOUR
  6. Does that mean there are no child trafficking/pedophilia issues in the entertainment industry? NO, I’M PRETTY SURE THOSE ISSUES ARE THERE AND ARE A HUGE PROBLEM

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As with the case of the “Mass Shooting Never Happened” theory, in which the tragic event never occurred but was instead staged in its entirety…positioning all celebrity suicides as “murders” is a way of dealing with the seemingly inexplicable loss and tragedy of suicide itself. Implicit is the idea that suicide is something only “weak” people do—certainly not your idols.

That being said, I want to reiterate: I’m sure there have been murders staged as suicides. I just don’t think the majority of reported suicides are staged murders. If a celebrity has a long history of depression and substance abuse, Occam’s razor is going to lead me to conclude that most likely their suicide-seeming death was an actual suicide.

(Certainly, if you are Marilyn Monroe and fucked both the President of the United States and the head of the Mob…those seem like extraordinary circumstances. Though…nowadays, that’s just the news cycle on a Tuesday, isn’t it?)

And when we consider the Cornell/Bennington case, there is the added element of “copycat suicides” or “suicide contagion”—that the suicide of one person might lead to others feeling inspired to do the same out of a feeling of sadness and dread.

And so what is the moral of this story?

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