10.6.18

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“Put mythically, each of us, whether we know it or not, is both a bumbling Clark Kent and a secret Superman. We are persons, and we are portals.”
–Jeffrey J. Kripal, “Mutants and Mystics”

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A recent AskReddit thread asked readers to cite the conspiracy theory they felt is the most scary.

Here are the ten most upvoted theories cited as of this morning, in reverse order:

10. “That Sasquatch is an indiscriminate rapist.”

9. “If planet Earth has the only life in all of the universe.”

8. “Based on the idea of the fermi paradox and The Great Filter, it’s that there is a lot of alien life out there but we don’t hear or see any of it because the ones that still exist know to keep quiet as there is some greater alien force or technology that hunts and destroys civilizations.”

7. “Mattress Firm is something more sinister and powerful than we could possibly imagine.”

6. “That social media information gathering gathers so much data on your personality that it allows effective social engineering, changing how you think, how you shop, how you vote… which has a chain effect of you teaching the same things to your kids, family, friends etc.”

5. “That Planet X is real, orbits like a comet and so enters the solar system at infrequent intervals, and is home to intelligent life that’s affected past human civilizations.”

4. “Theory that those weird videos on youtube with Spider-Man and Elsa are actually conditioning children to trust predators.”

3. “It’s quiet in space because something incredibly evil and horrific is snuffing out advanced life once it starts colonising other worlds.”

2. “That aliens are already here on planet earth, and they aren’t extraterrestrial beings but extra-dimensional beings.”

1. “That AskReddit questions about conspiracy theories are periodically posted by the government to measure how close the general public is to uncovering the truth.”

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I feel “prompted” by that last segment to now cite my personal choice for “Scariest Conspiracy Theory.”

There is one “mega-theory” I turn back to every once in a while; For Entertainment Purposes Only, not entirely with any sort of seriousness. I add little bits to it, here and there; here and there. And then I contemplate it, all the little moving parts, and I do get that fleeting feeling of terror.

I drop hints regarding it here and there on this site, but really the entire thing is a LARP.

You know: a “joke.”

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Well…this poster for the TV adaptation of Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman’s Good Omens literally just dropped…and I’m a big David Tennant fan so here it is:

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Need to do a synchronistic overview of Tennant’s roles, put that on my list pls.

In Good Omens he plays a character called…Crowley. Because of course he does.

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Item: “Scientists Discover Female Termites Who Don’t Need Males To Reproduce”

Commented Dr. Toshihisa Yashiro, of the School of Life and Environmental Sciences at the University of Sydney:

“Our paper is the first demonstration that termites can do away with males completely by the evolution of an asexual lineage, and get along fine just with females.”

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Oh rest assured: the article gets way further into the implied evolutionary implications, here.

Now, the big takeaway from this is not that eventually humanity itself will evolve into this situation where there are all-female colonies like Wonder Woman’s Paradise Island and men aren’t needed and parthenogenesis is the norm.

No, what is far more likely is humanity as a whole evolving into asexual creatures & sex (as we currently understand it ) being some weird “fringe” thing that only the edgy intellectual types do like making steak out of cauliflower and learning cuneiform.

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Item: “Banksy Painting ‘Self-Destructs’ Moments After Being Sold For $1.4 million At Auction”

So literally, Banksy built a paper-shredder into the picture frame in order to have it shred the painting, “Girl With Balloon,” right after it sold.

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this shit **actually happened** in the middle of Sotheby’s

My favorite quote from the article:

“There’s no word on how the shredder started operating at the key moment after the auction, though it could have been activated by a remote mechanism.”

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I was going to go into the discovery of a “dwarf planet” just beyond Pluto that’s stirring that ol’ Nibiru talk again…but Nibiru certainly seems like a topic that needs its own post.

In closing, I think it would be really great if they could just combine the best qualities of A Star Is Born and Venom into one convenient-to-watch film.

Have a good Saturday.