11.21.18: Time Machines And Scary Care Bears


“Greetings. I am a time traveler from the year 2036. I am on my way home after
getting an IBM 5100 computer system from the year 1975.”
–John Titor


I’ve been indulging a lot lately in what some might call “fanciful” esoteric theories—more of the “Paul Is Dead” stuff, and then I came across a whole online cache of weird “home brew time-travel” docs on Scribd.

There’s a scene in Napoleon Dynamite where Uncle Rico orders this sketchy time travel “pogo stick”-like thing; you have to put crystals in this cup to activate it, and it shocks your nuts. Well, there were whole newsletters in the 80s and 90s selling this stuff, providing schematics, etc. And it was a big thing, even in the Seventies…building time travel devices, using various mind-techniques to travel back in time, discussing teleportation, etc.

sample page from one of these time-travel newsletters/catalogs

And of course….a lot of old newspaper clippings pasted haphazardly within these newsletters covering various unexplained cases of spontaneous time travel & teleportation.

I have not even begun to properly delve into all of this material (though I would highly recommend the book Future Memory to even get a baseline on some of these concepts), but I am familiar with the whole John Titor stuff from almost 20 years ago. And you could say, in a way, that the Titor stuff was like the “gateway” for me into researching other fringe theories.

As always…I tend to take the “quantum” view on these matters. I believe you can “travel back in time”…in a sense. This might be happening all the time to us, and we don’t even realize it. Time might be fluid. In fact…I think it is fluid; history is fluid.<–that, along with the “subjective reality” thing, is a really “dangerous” theory, when you think about it. But it probably also is unfortunately true, the further we go into quantum physics.



The scariest issue of “Care Bears” ever:



Fun fact: I actually did get asked to write story pitches for a Care Bears reboot some time ago. They wanted a more “gritty” Care Bears. I think some sort of demon-influenced Lovecraftian mind-ripper type thing was involved in the one I wrote. But then the publisher wanted me also to work basically for free as an editor as well, and I said “nah.”


I think I also got asked to write a “grittier” Casper the Friendly Ghost.


Then finally, I got to write a gen-u-ine Clive Barker “Hellraiser” comic book story. It was about a Dr. Seuss-type book that sucks in people’s minds & makes them insane; so I was still sort of staying in “the same lane” as the original Care Bears pitch (or simply perhaps continually flogging the same horse).


Barker had to approve all the Hellraiser pitches, and it was a highlight of my career that he liked mine. (Lord Of Illusions, which he directed as well as wrote, is one of my all-time fave psychotronic horror movies.) His only request was the following: almost all of the short stories in that particular anthology comic featured straight protagonists, and would I be open to making the couple in my story gay?

I was like:


Even better: visually, I based all the characters on Marvel movie actors.


So: probably one of the best experiences I had writing ever. And as always: almost completely materializing out of synchronicities and just seeming happenstance.

I wrote dialogue for Pinhead. I’m sure that puts me in a club of people somewhere.



I haven’t really been feeling the writing mojo the last week or so, but I feel like I gotta put some stuff up. It’s a looooong holiday weekend, a perfect time. Just started a ketogenic diet; I try to always start a diet and/or alcohol-quitting plan during the holidays just to be extra-masochistic & a pain in the ass. But with the diet, taking out most of the carbs…it just creates this =spike= in energy. So I might as well take advantage of it.

I could write about current events in the world right now, but it just seems to be this ever-ratcheting-up dumpster fire leading to the inevitable conclusion. Probably part of why I’m reading the time-travel zines. Beam me up scotty etc.


Have a good Wednesday.

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