11.22.18 B

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“Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself and yourself alone one question… Does this path have a heart? If it does, it is good. If it doesn’t it is of no use.”
—Carlos Castaneda

***

I have had several periods of time in my life of concentrated spiritual development:

  • 1992-1998:  Psychic dreams, out-of-body experiences, synchronicity, additional weird phenomena. Much more concrete rather than theoretical esoteric experiences.
  • 2003-2006: A very (very) concrete esoteric experience at the beginning that “kicked” everything else off. Concrete esoteric experiences coupled with channeling/automatic writing. Some psychic dreams, but not with the frequency/intensity of the previous period.
  • 2012: There was some lead-up to this 2008-2010, but too little to really ascribe much continuity to it. But towards the second half of 2012, my life was just crammed with new thinkers and ideas to contemplate. Much higher-than usual writing volume. Many syncs. Maybe this had to do with the esoteric 2012 date, I don’t know.
  • 2013-2015: An extremely intense period of development. A lot of channeling/automatic writing. Very elaborate and detailed journal entries. Massive capacity for reading & note-taking.

One common factor in all these was: when “it” wanted to manifest, it did. It didn’t care what I was doing in my “mundane” life. It didn’t care what my conscious life-plans were.

Basically, when I didn’t live my truth, it left me like a smear on the sidewalk of the universe. It fucked all my shit up.

***

But a key flaw, I think, in some of mainstream New Age counseling/Life Coaching/etc. is this matter of living one’s Truth.

Because you could =think= you know what your Truth is…but you really don’t. Because you barely know who you are.

So your counselor/coach/soothsayer/aura-stroker will ask you:

“If you had a magic wand right now & could be anything you’d want to be…what is it?”

And you answer, “[INSERT ANSWER HERE]”…but you deep down don’t really =know= the answer.

Now you and your counselor/coach/soothsayer/aura-stroker are going along on this vision-quest for this vision/dream/conception that is not your Truth! I’ve seen this happen ALL the time.

***

For example…I literally had a “story” of my life and I thought I knew who I was in that story. Because: I wrote the goddamn story!!!

But then it turned out—I was not that character. I got the whole thing wrong. I got everything backwards.

All you can really do in such proceedings is laugh, amirite?

***

Uh…stove caught on fire while we tried to “self clean” it before cooking Thanksgiving dinner today. Luckily, we have a neighborhood where we could find some alternate dinner (well…lunch) plans in a jiff.

***

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