“Dream, Thursday Night, June 11, 1981: I am with Nancy. She is behaving unusually: she is very active and energetic. I am told that she took something, a medication. She now has an additional mind or psyche in her, that of a man. The names John and Bill are mentioned, and there is some reference to the ending of the BTA novel. I want to take the medication, too, it will happen to me. The medication is shown to me; it is in a cylinder or carton on which writing appears. I can’t read the small print; the only word I can read is the name of the medication (or food, or drug, etc.); it is Ditheon.”
–Philip K. Dick, “Exegesis”
So I thought I’d spend a little bit of time discussing my relationship with, and attitudes towards, the topic of “channeling.”
I first tried to channel in the mid-1990s, when I was going through a particularly strong spiritual/psychic period of my life. I had a friend—My Friend From College (MFFC)—who claimed to channel. And she actually did this one spooky channeling session regarding a creature she called “LAM” (claimed identity and actual provenance of which, is a story for another day).
So anyway, I had picked up the idea from her to try channeling. But it really felt to me, when I “did” it, like a LARP. It just felt like I was coming up with ideas for stories. I was (still am) a writer, and all it really felt like was the Creative Process.
So I put that all on the shelf until the mid-2000’s, when I was recovering from an illness caused by the side-effects of several medications. The only way I could find to recover from said “long-term” side effects was to cut ALL “unnatural” or “stimulating” substances from my diet: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, MSG, and processed foods. I was now totally “clear” (I guess as the Scientologists say), and every trace of my illness disappeared in like a month.
But I now felt...extremely intuitive and psychic. And I once again tried my hand at channeling. The results were a bit more elaborate, and I have a number of documents/transcripts from that period. Not a huge amount, but much more than my previous attempt a decade before. And, true to my archetype, I posted a number of these transcripts to sketchy conspiracy websites; because that seemed like definitely the “smartest” way to handle all this.
But then I got distracted with a writing career that was really picking up, with all the outside activities and so on that went along with that. In 2010, I had another very short burst of channeling inspiration—but then I was offered this big job by a major entertainment conglomerate and just “shut” all that off.
I realize that the whole “2012” thing has seemed to be really cliche—but literally around the 20th of December that year the channeling came back in a HUGE way. And the details around that are very interesting—especially since they seemed “timed” to the 2012 “shift”—the details of which were recorded in my “De Vinculis” journal.
And so I began to do some “patchy” channeling between 2012 and Spring of 2013— including possibly “channeling” an entire book. In the summer of that year I tried my hand at self-hypnosis, largely to deal with intrusive memories from PTSD. To be honest, I also kind of hoped that I might be able to achieve some sort of “vision quests” through hypnosis that I didn’t think I’d ever be able to do with psychedelics—because I appeared to be extremely sensitive to ANY drug & I wasn’t taking a chance with LSD etc.
I tried a bunch of online hypnosis things through YouTube, the content of which quickly moved from “Improve Your Life” and “Stop Smoking” to some really bizarre, labyrinthine shit. And the upshot is: during the Summer as I’m doing this, I’m experiencing a bunch of really weird, “specific” channeling sessions; within self-hypnosis and without it.
Fast-forward to a few months later. I’ve put all the hypnosis stuff behind me. I’m on a new path, on a health-kick, and just feeling really good. I begin meditating for about 15 minutes every morning before working out. Nothing weird—just straight-up meditation to calm my mind.
About three meditation sessions in: I start spontaneously start channeling this MASSIVE download of shit.
This goes on for…two years. TWO YEARS!!!
Certainly, channeling isn’t the only thing I’m doing during this period of time. But I am now very purposefully channeling. And more than that—I’m recording it. I’m audio recording it, I’m dating and transcribing it, I’m backing-up the transcriptions, everything.
But to be 100% honest: I’m still thinking that this is all just a “creative exercise.” That this is what writers do anyway. How many times do you hear a writer or actor or musician or other creative-type person say: “I just channeled it?” Is it really “channeling” an outside thing at all? Or is it like Philip K. Dick sometimes (sometimes) theorized: just his left brain “talking” with his right?
Even famous channelers will sometimes say that it could all just be their “higher self” communicating with them. In essence: they are communicating with themselves. A methodology for self-communication, with the ultimate goal being a greater understanding of the totality of Self.
So I never 100% bought into this channeling shit.
And then one day, one June 4th of this year, I decided to do a meditation/channeling session at night. A small one. I didn’t do much of these anymore, because it takes a lot of energy from me & I sorta feel I’ve “downloaded” everything I really care to know at the moment. “Nothing new under the sun,” and all that.
The message tells me that a celebrity is going to commit suicide. And it’s going to be a really big deal—you know, not an obscure celebrity, but a very well-known one. And that I will “know” immediately when I hear the news, because of particular factors regarding the person, that this is who was referred to. And that it will happen relatively “early” in the day, in the news cycle, so I won’t have to “wait” for long for the news to hit.
What I’m “hearing” is very insistent that I listen to, and absorb, this message. And, you know, I’m writing this down and am like:
Because this just feels like LARPy Q-Anon-type mental masturbation bullshit.
The next day, at around noon, news breaks that designer Kate Spade hung herself.
And I’m like:
And Kate Spade *did* have a lot of meaning to me, in the sense that her brand was omnipresent during my college years and first foray into “the adult world”—for women, her bag pretty much symbolized “success” and the highest achievement a female could have in life.
So the whole day, I’m walking around like:
Because a) it’s just really really sad the way she died and b) my “channel” predicted this!!! And there’s this really weird energy that I’m feeling, too, and it travels with me until two days later, where now Anthony Bourdain hangs himself. And now I’m really fucked up. I’m like going through my days like:
Because I was dealing with a LOT of shit in-between all this, you know? The very last thing I needed was to “channel” anything—regardless if it was “right” or not.
But I’m OK now. Anyway. That’s just the story about me and “channeling.”