“Oh, the wind is blowing
Volcano’s blowing, my lungs are blowing
(Over and over)”
–Jack White, “Over and Over and Over”
So the priest for my neighborhood’s diocese was found dead of suicide in the middle of the rectory. You know priests, right? Those are the chaps that you can turn to if you are feeling like committing suicide.
In fact, it is made extremely clear in the Catholic religion that committing suicide is a sin. I believe it’s a…(looks it up) mortal sin. HOWEVER, there are “extenuating circumstances” that can lessen the penalty when you file.
I am more concerned with how this religion failed this man.
And I am also concerned how more and more our society is feeling like a John Carpenter movie.
My favorite John Carpenter flick has to be 1987’s Prince of Darkness (is this conversation so far inappropriate for Christmas Eve? My apologies.) Unlike other Carpenter movies like The Thing and Halloween, there are no big-name stars in Prince off Darkness. You got Jameson Parker from Simon & Simon with a porn mustache as the lead, and Alice Cooper in a memorable cameo. That’s it.
Oh, there’s Donald Pleasance too. But that’s a given.
Anyway, Prince of Darkness is about this cylinder of goo in the basement of this church. The goo turns out to be “the corporeal embodiment of Satan.” Yikes. And it’s leaking. So its leakiness gets all over everybody, making them evil, etc. Of course, the most vulnerable are the first ones to get infected.
So that’s really the plot of the thing. It’s not exactly Ingmar Bergman, but it does the job. The most famous scene of the film is a sort of “dream sequence” that might not be a dream at all, a scratchy VHS-type recording of this wraith-like creature saying the following:
“This is not a dream… not a dream. We are using your brain’s electrical system as a receiver. We are unable to transmit through conscious neural interference. You are receiving this broadcast as a dream. We are transmitting from the year one, nine, nine, nine. You are receiving this broadcast in order to alter the events you are seeing. Our technology has not developed a transmitter strong enough to reach your conscious state of awareness, but this is not a dream. You are seeing what is actually occurring for the purpose of causality violation.”
And it’s a really creepy little scene that gets under your skin. Because it almost feels like something separate from the rest of the movie. It feels like some weird Gnostic shit maybe put in there at least subconsciously.
What is my point, talking about an obscure horror film on Christmas Eve? I’m not sure.
But I will say this:
It seems very clear to me that we are starting to have a situation in the United States and most likely elsewhere that has the tonality of a John Carpenter movie. Pick whatever fucking Carpenter movie you want to use for the metaphor: Prince of Darkness, They Live, In The Mouth of Madness, The Thing, Escape From New York, Escape From Motherfucking L.A., whatever the fuck movie you feel most comfortable with.
What I’m saying is: there is a feeling of darkness settling in. And it’s not just because my life is sort of shitty at the moment. At the moment…my life suddenly seems a lot rosier than that of priest of my diocese. At the moment, a family acquaintance is spending Christmas in the psych ward for her umpteenth suicide attempt. At the moment, the U.S. is on-track for a recession. At the moment, it barely seems like there even is a functioning government in the United States.
At the moment, there seems like an awful lot of volcanoes blowing.
It’s an ENERGY. And I cannot escape the conclusion that, to a degree, there is negative energy being purposely pumped into our collective consciousness.
And part of it is that I honestly believe there is something about Trump that is being used as a type of negative…”sigil,” if you will. And I don’t think he’s doing it. I’m not saying he’s not doing negative shit. But this is like…a joint creation of a number of interested parties who have co-opted and utilized his image beyond anything he could have possibly had the understanding to do on his own behalf.
Think about how much MONEY the media alone makes off of reporting about Donald Trump.
Anyway…what am I trying to say here?
I’m trying to say…
That I don’t want to believe that there is some “good” vs. “evil” thing going on. Because that is woefully simplistic. And you have to define “good” and “evil” and everybody has their own reality tunnels and that gets into a bit of a clusterfuck.
I don’t want to believe it, because I’m more educated than to believe in such a binary.
I don’t want to believe it.
But if I’m being perfectly honest with you…
I’m starting to believe it just a teeny-tiny bit.
Of course…going back to the concepts of what is “good” and “evil”…this in itself may not be so immediately obvious. Anyone with enough money can get a good PR team.
But there does seem to be some “baseline” of good and evil. Some really broad strokes. And there will be some people who say this isn’t true; that there is endless “relativity.” But it is fucking true.
It is fucking true.
By the way, “Christmas Week” apparently seemed like as good a time as any to reveal that Anakin Skywalker’s dad is Emperor Palpatine. So the failed Christ analogue—this young man of fantastic powers rumored to be the result of a “virgin” birth—is revealed to be metaphorically the son of Satan. And we find this out in-time for Christmas.
Last—but not least—I want to give a deep thank-you to those who donated—it was unexpected and appreciated. I will contact you separately as well—everything is a little backed up now (and my brain is working its way out of Overwhelm) but I have a list to keep me focused.
I still feel pretty depressed, but the writing at least feels empowering. I might write more today. I’ll see how it goes.