On The Kevin Spacey Video: When The Fourth Wall Utterly Disintegrates

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“I know what you want. Oh sure, they may have tried to separate us, but what we have is too strong, it’s too powerful. After all, we shared everything, you and I. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets. I showed you exactly what people are capable of. I shocked you with my honesty, but mostly I challenged you and made you think. And you trusted me, even though you knew you shouldn’t. So we’re not done, no matter what anyone says.”
–pretty much any Kevin Spacey villain

My thoughts about this apparently self-produced Kevin Spacey video that dropped just before Christmas *was* going to be in a journal post, but it was just too…singular not to just spotlight.

I haven’t actually watched the video—because the prospect of doing so makes my skin feel like it is going to bubble up and literally crawl down my arms. But I *did* read the transcript, which is about as bizarre as it gets.

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merry Christmas from your pal Kevin Spacey

In part, he said (looking into the camera and doing his best Keyser Söze/John Doe/Lex Luthor/Frank Underwood):

“I know what you want. Oh sure, they may have tried to separate us, but what we have is too strong, it’s too powerful. After all, we shared everything, you and I. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets. I showed you exactly what people are capable of. I shocked you with my honesty, but mostly I challenged you and made you think. And you trusted me, even though you knew you shouldn’t. So we’re not done, no matter what anyone says.

And besides, I know what you want: You want me back. Of course, some believed everything and have just been waiting with bated breath to hear me confess it all. They’re just dying to have me declare that everything said is true and I got what I deserved. Wouldn’t that be easy, if it was all so simple? Only you and I both know it’s never that simple, not in politics and not in life.

But you wouldn’t believe the worst without evidence, would you? You wouldn’t rush to judgement without facts, would you? Did you? No, not you. You’re smarter than that.

Anyway, all this presumption made for such an unsatisfying ending, and to think it could have been such a memorable send off. I mean, if you and I have learned nothing else these past years it’s that in life and art nothing should be off the table. We weren’t afraid, not of what we said and not of what we did, and we’re still not afraid. Because I can promise you this: If I didn’t pay the price for the things we both know I did do, I’m certainly not going to pay the price for the things I didn’t do.”

What the literal fuck was THAT?

People are like: “oh, well this is just a delusional play on his part to get his House of Cards role back.” But I don’t think so.

I don’t think so.

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“I asked you to kill Superman, and you couldn’t…do…that…one…simple…thing.”

He may be a creep and very possibly a sex criminal…but I don’t think even he thinks that video is going to actually get him another season on House of Cards or whatever.

That video…was a THREAT.

That video was a threat.

And it’s quite singular.

Now, who is Spacey threatening in this video?

I believe it’s the other Hollywood and perhaps even political peeps he had been partying with for decades until his scandal broke.

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“and just like that…he was gone!”

It wasn’t simply a matter of “the worst timing in the world” when charges against him for sexual assault were announced like one hour after this video.

Spacey knew these charges were coming.

And he was basically like: “well, if you’re going to let me go down—you’re ALL going down too.”

Kevin Spacey is LITERALLY Keyser Söze/John Doe/Lex Luthor/Frank Underwood. He should give the fucking Oscars back, because he was only playing his goddamn self the ENTIRE TIME!

And now he’s basically Frank Underwooding his peeps who left him out to be the scapegoat of all of Hollywood.

That’s just my two cents. I could be wrong.

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YouTube contest: replace my face with a deep fake of Christopher Plummer

BONUS: if you look closely, the mug he is holding apparently references the Royal Family:

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COINCIDENCE?!!?!11?

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