4.3.19: The Oracle & The Troll


“The crowd neither wants nor seeks knowledge, and the leaders of the crowd, in their own interests, try to strengthen its fear and dislike of everything new and unknown. The slavery in which mankind lives is based upon this fear.”
–G. I. Gurdjieff

Welcome to Butterfly Language, a look at the world inside and outside my head!

On this day in 2018, apparently disgruntled vlogger Nasim Aghdam stormed YouTube headquarters with a gun, wounded three, and then fatally shot herself. It was an exceptionally rare case of an active shooter incident carried out solely by a woman; according to a 2014 FBI study, only six out 160 such incidents taking place between 2000-2013 were carried out by females.

Nasim Aghdam “glamour” photos

But it was part of a larger trend of YouTube personalities getting into various extreme trouble with the law. In the time leading up to the shooting, Aghdam complained of what she felt were “demonetization” efforts struck on her channel by YouTube. Perhaps this alone was enough to drive her over the edge?

Looking over a variety of her online content, big red flags for me pop up regarding Aghdam’s work—as much of it seems like an “MKUltra Girls” parody writ large.

This brings me to a few questions.


On Aghdam’s site (since defunct, but feel free to browse Google), she had a prominent notice that she did the entire site herself, with no help. She made that very clear. But who took all her many many glassy-eyed glamour photos? Many of these photos look like the ones a boyfriend or manager or someone takes to “promote” a woman on the internet. I have had a boyfriend take relatively “tame” versions of photos like this of me when I was younger. These are highly stylized artificially posed photos. This rarely is the result of just a lone person. There would be more true selfies if that was the case.

Many of these are full-length glamour photos. Some of these are bordering on fetish pictures. And there are actually several pictures of a nearly naked life-sized doll dressed as her.


Second: How did she make a living to pay for all the clothes, video production (which included some rudimentary CGI), and etc? I think she lived with her parents/grandmother, so perhaps they gave her a stipend? I don’t think ad revenue from her videos would have paid for everything.

I find it hard to believe that she did this all on her own. Maybe I’m wrong. But it seems really odd to me, as if she had somebody else in her life “cultivating” her as this type of YouTube glamour/fitness/vegan/possibly fetish personality.


The extreme weirdness of it all—especially her seemingly emotionless glassy-eyed stare—also couldn’t help but make me think of another such enigmatic Internet “personality”…Karin Catherine Waldegrave.

Karin Catherine Waldegrave.

Perhaps these were all “experiments,” of a sort?

Of course…since the YouTube HQ incident, Aghdam—like Waldegrave, Chris-chan, and so many others—became canonized as an Internet Saint.



Nasim Aghdam—a professed vegan and animal rights activist—was also apparently obsessed with bunny rabbits. Tons of pics of her with bunnies, including a “funeral” for one of her pets.


Which is the perfect lead-in to today’s post “Let The Rabbit Be Your Guide”—an overview of the complex symbolism of the creature.

Perhaps it’s just the sheer seasonality of the topic, but here’s a round up of other recent articles concerning rather uncanny bunnies:

And please don’t forget that there’s still a mutant rabbit missing from the University of Michigan laboratories.



There is so much more news-wise that I want to cover, but I’m going to have to push this bounty of riches to Next Time. I’ve also written a few essay-type things, there’s some more videos I want to do, and certainly the bunny-filled bonanza that is ♠♣♥♦APRIL!!!!♦♥♣♠ is just getting started!

Have a good Wednesday, folks; and remember to keep your feet on the ground, keep reaching for the stars, and keep a tube of BENGAY handy because it is a fucking miracle cream!

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