4.16.19: Many Miles Away

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The actual processes of individuation—the conscious coming-to-terms with one’s own inner center (psychic nucleus) or Self—generally begins with a wounding of the personality and the suffering that accompanies it. This initial shock amounts to a sort of “call,” although it is often not recognized as such.
–Carl Jung, “Man And His Symbols”

Welcome to Butterfly Language, a look at the world inside and outside my head!

My apologies for skipping a day, here. From a historical perspective, yesterday was pretty significant—Abraham Lincoln died, the Titanic sank, and the 2013 Boston Bombing took place. As I wrote almost a year ago today on this here very blog:

People in “alternative” circles like to say that the period from mid-April to May 1st is some sort of pagan “sacrifice by burning” time. I am not a scholar of actual genuine traditional pagan rituals, so I have no idea if that is just a bunch of conspiracy wharrgarbl or not. What I do know is that on the eve of this supposed period, a well-respected guy in my neighborhood apparently set himself on fire and burned to death in the middle of the park.

That post, by the way—as well as the one about the guy who set himself on fire in Prospect Park—was recently restored from Drafts by me only a couple of days ago. Because I had an intuition that they might still be relevant.

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My best strategy for dealing with extreme synchronicity is to throw myself into humor as quickly as possible. The “absurd” as a deflector.

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I experienced a number of syncs with the Notre Dame fire. I experienced one very immediate sync, and that “set off” further syncs. Even the timing of my Messenger Shiva post on synchronicity seemed like a synchronicity.

Admittedly: there is, in the middle of all this, the very distinct possibility that I am relating everything to myself in such a manner because I’m a closet narcissist. I would then say, in my defense, that my ego as of late has been pretty battered and bordering on non-existent—so if narcissism is in play, it’s not doing a very goddamn good job.

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“Notre Dame” means, of course, “Our Lady.” The Virgin Mary—but more than that, the Goddess herself. The Babalon Bird, perhaps. Phoenix in Flames.

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Oh—Leonardo da Vinci was born yesterday, too. Just saying.

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I had a dream last night. I had several. In one, I went to a comic book store and took my time & picked out some stuff to buy. I haven’t really done that in years. Then I carefully sorted through the comics I had picked, taking a few that I didn’t think were really “me” out of the buy pile.

Later that night, I had another, related dream. My mother bought me the entire comic book shop. I was a little overwhelmed…I wasn’t sure if I could afford to maintain it. Also: my mother never really liked me reading comics; she was always a little embarrassed by it. So it was a surprise that Dream-Mom did such a thing for me.

Thanks, Dream-Mom!

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I’m still not sure what the answers are, and I still feel as if I am going through this sort of “ego death.” But what I do know is…I can only operate by radical honesty, at this point. When I make videos, I feel closer to my true self, and apparently that True Self is a combination of a highly aloof “goddess” and an annoying nerdy teenage boy. It’s the “Magical Child” who never grew up; I also think it’s the plot to Ozma of Oz. Oh well; now I know.

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I could do a lot more symbolism riffs on Notre Dame, and certainly, there’s tons more to write about in this weird world getting weirder every day.

But this was OK for now.

Have a good Tuesday.

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