USA Today Article Promises: “You Will Get Chipped”

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USA Today just wants you to know, just in case you have any ideas otherwise:

You will get chipped.

Their article picks up on the aftermath of the “Chipping Event” at Three Square Market (see: “Company Implanting Microchips In Workers”), including news that there has been some online pushback against the company (1-star reviews, complaints on Facebook, and etc.).

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AI Invents Own Language (Nothing To Worry About)

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Balls have zero to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to me to.
–Alice, AI Client

Crammed between all the palace intrigue and reality-show gossip that dominates the news cycle is word that an artificial intelligence system being developed at Facebook just invented its own language. That’s not Terminator-level uh-oh material, but neither is it inconsequential; it was deemed “serious” enough by the Facebook researchers to shut the AI down.

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Company Implanting Microchips In Workers (OR: When Bats**t Crazy Prophecies Sort Of Come True)

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One of the most common batshit crazy prophecies I have come across, most often in conjunction with those “Book of Revelation”-type conspiracy things, is that of people being forced to receive “The Mark”—getting microchips implanted in their hands or whatnot. These chips are like a “hotline” to the Anti-Christ or Satan, and people who refuse to have them implanted are killed.

Now here is a real-life (as opposed to Conspiracy Life) company who is offering to implant microchips in the hands of their workers.

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Will Amazon’s Whole Foods Be Mostly Staffed By Robots?

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Please understand, this is merely a rhetorical question: based on Amazon’s plans, as of six months ago, to have a chain of mostly-automated “self-serve” supermarkets. Now that the juggernaut company has plans to acquire Whole Foods, will the objectives for Amazon’s “Take It And Go” merely be transferred over to the more well-known grocery chain?

“Take It And Go” boasts “no lines, no checkout.” You merely “scan in” with your Amazon account as you walk through the door, pick up what items you want, and leave. Literally: that’s it. Everything else is kept track of through sensors and the like and charged to your account.

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Robopriest

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Sure, why not?

Asking whether you want to be blessed by a male or female voice, this robot “priest” in the historic town of Wittenberg (where Martin Luther’s famous Ninety-five Theses was published) is called “BlessU-2” and was developed by the Evangelical Church in Hesse and Nassau. It will even print out a handy blessing for you to keep in your pocket or perhaps on your fridge.

Not surprisingly, BlessU-2 was sort of conceived by the church to attract more believers (spectators?) to the Faith. As church spokesman Sebastian von Gehren commented: “It is an experiment that is supposed to inspire discussion.”

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VR Is Failing Because The Real Future Is All In Your Mind

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The Wall Street Journal reports that sales of virtual reality equipment have been disappointing; at this rate making it unlikely that they will reach the $12.65 billion forecasted for 2020.

But VR was supposed to be the “Next Big Thing”—for at least twenty years now. There were the TV shows VR.5 (1995) and VR Troopers (1994), not to mention The Lawnmower Man (1992). What the hell happened? Who wouldn’t want to put on goggles and be transported to another world entirely? The success of these devices were supposed to be a no-brainer.

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The Spy Cats Of The CIA

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Considering everything else that’s happening in the world, this is a relatively benign, even goofy, story…well, except for the cats.

Wikileaks recently tweeted a link to a CIA memo archive (which was released in 2001) that contained information on “Project Acoustic Kitty”—a five-year year project in the 1960s designed to turn ordinary cats into mobile recording devices.

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